Partisan Free Politics

It isn’t easy to walk in another man’s shoes, granted.  But of all the most senseless misguided professions to unionize, Hollywood writer’s have to take the cake (or at least finish a close second to actors, and just ahead of directors.)  In this day in age, with the rise of blogging ushering in thousands of new could-be wordsmiths, it seems like the “professional” writers have little advantage in the market outside of their old-boy’s club union (yes, the same “professionals” that gave you titles such as “Prison Break,” flood the nightly airwaves with rehashed Monica Lewinsky jokes, and pen the endless forensic banter for all the 16 different CSI shows.  And yes, the same guys that single-handedly ruined the X-Files… they have a union.)  I just can’t imagine that these guys actually hold any sway…  Conan will have to take a week or two off, but I’m sure he’ll restock and be back with fresh new faces ready to make stark observations about current events and reprise timeless humoristic asides in no time… So with no further ado: here are my stark observations about current events, replete with as many humoristic asides as I could tastefully include.

 First, in “You’ve got to be kidding me!” news:  The Hillary Clinton campaign is complaining that the “boys aren’t playing fair.”  Gerry Ferraro, the last female candidate to be embraced by the party establishment, has even gone as far as deriding the scrutiny that Mrs. Clinton is receiving and calling her rivals “sexist.”  Ferraro continued with the absurd exclaimation that “I think if Barack Obama had been attacked for two hours — well, I don’t think Barack Obama would have been attacked for two hours.”  (C’mon Hollywood, this stuff writes itself…)  If Hillary can’t take the attacks coming from John “Two Americas” Edwards then I can’t wait to see her buckle under the barrage that will surely come from whoever the GOP nominee is… I just hope she never fathered a black baby…  I hate to be sexist, but I’ve just got one bit of advice for Hillary: “Grow a pair.”

 Next up, in “Greyson gets to defend more douchebags” news: You might remember the Westboro Baptist Church of Topeka, Kansas, or at least you remember the controversy they started when they decided to stage demonstrations at funerals across the country (most notably for Iraq veterans, but plans are also in the works to picket the recent victims of the S.C. house fire and plans were initially made to protest the victims of the Amish school shooting back in October of last year.)  The Westboro Baptist Church, or NAMBLA, (believe me the original official website was even worse than this one, but was taken down by the hosting company after receiving consumer complaints… and they say the free market doesn’t work…) believes that the deaths of soldiers in Iraq, and presumably Amish schoolchildren in Pennsylvania and South Carolinian college students, is divine retribution for America’s acceptance (and that is a big stretch of the word) of homosexuality.  According to WBC leadership America, Canada, and Sweden are all at the top of God’s chopping block…  So what could be more absurd than idiots galavanting around with signs that read “Thank God for IEDs” or “Fags Eat Feces = Scat”… THIS!  Apparently a federal jury in America’s crime capital, Baltimore, MD, found enough time to take away from prosecuting violent crime to award one victim’s family $10.9 million (yes that’s million, $2.9 million in compensatory and $8 million in punitive) for “damages” that the protesters caused by demonstrating at their son’s funeral, and all this despite an admission by the victim’s father that he never even saw the protesters until he picked up the next morning’s paper.  Now I’m not going to pile on a grief-stricken father, so forgive me if I don’t pick apart his absurd claim that the first amendment doesn’t cover “hate speech,” but we have to realize that it is decisions like these, ones that penalize indefensible idiocy, that really threaten to vastly reshape American society.  Already more than 20 states have passed laws regulating demonstrations surrounding burial services, or memorial sites, and these clearly fly in the face of everything that is free speech in America…  Sure, it isn’t easy to stand up and defend any idiot’s right to proclaim “God Hates Your Tears,” but this slippery slope has already criminalized a patriot’s demonstration to bring our troops home.  Fortunately, the decision will be appealed to 4th Circuit Court of Appeals where I can only hope people with a real understanding of jurisprudence will throw it out, and hopefully provide some rebuke to this new wave of overzealous state laws.  Albert Snyder deserves our warmest sympathies, but that is about all.

 And finally, in “There is Still Hope Left” news: As I’m finishing this post, shortly before 2:30 PM EST, the Ron Paul campaign has already garnered almost $2 million dollars in campaign donations since midnight this morning!!!  Many Paul supporters have been spreading the news of a November 5th coordinated donation drive for over a month now, and they are hardly disappointing their efforts.  Dr. Paul aims to raise $12 million by the end of the 4th Quarter, and is already beginning to open his well-stocked war chest, spending money on radio and TV ads in Iowa, New Hampshire, Nevada, and South Carolina…  One thing is for certain: they aren’t going away anytime soon… it looks like America is ready for a real non-interventionist policy…